Saturday, May 23, 2009

Teaching Your Children Not To Care


They cared and they taught us to care. But part of their parental code was how NOT to care as well. It’s something all of us try and follow because they practice what they preach, they walk the talk. And all the time we were growing up, they tried to instill things in us, never pushed things down our throats. Did we heed their words? Maybe not all of them, then. But those words lived on in us – and came to the fore when it mattered. Words that were taught with wisdom, caring and love. An insurance for the life ahead of us.

Then I looked around at close friends who had great parents as well and I asked them whether they were taught how not to care too – about the things that don’t matter, the things that are ephemeral, the things that are superficial, the things that shouldn’t be important. I’ve tried to make a list of all the ones I can remember. It’s a list that maybe we can try and teach our children. Most kids will think you’re crazy – but they’ll remember it some day when they’re all grown up – and they’ll try to follow. I know we do.



Teach them not to care about what others think – how we feel about ourselves is what is important.

Teach them not to care how friends look, speak, what they wear – it’s how they make us feel that counts.

Teach them not to care about what could be wrong about others’ religious beliefs – it’s what’s right with ours that we need to follow.

Teach them not to care when others judge us – what’s important is that we don’t judge others.

Teach them not to care when others take and don’t pay back – it’s so much more satisfying when we pay it forward.

Teach them not to care what the world expects – setting our own standards high and achieving them should be our challenge.

Teach them not to care if someone is better then them in studies, sports, music, whatever – now that’s hard to follow but gets easier if a special talent is nurtured and made to bloom.

Teach them not to care if people ridicule them about the way they look – the more we show we are affected, the more will they tease us.

Teach them not to care if people taunt them – ignoring someone is a better way to retaliate than losing your temper.

Teach them not to care about the toxic takers – things work so much better in a giving, sharing environment.

Teach them not to care about the ones who don’t listen – but let’s lend someone our ears when needed.

Teach them not to care – about so many silly, inconsequential, unimportant things – a lot of what is important to us when we are young will seem so silly as we grow up.

Teach them not to care about the ones who don’t care – life’s so short, let’s spend it with the ones who do care.